Reset

I always forget that I have a blog.  It's kind of easy to when your passion for writing withers and life gets in the way.  I've probably restarted this blog at least three times now; I've had a Blogger account for forever.  It's been with me since I decided to be that angst-ridden teenager who really didn't have any issues besides hormones, through the event that altered my life in so many ways (some I have yet to discern), to the creature I am now:  generally worried, anxious, and depressed.  I'm re-starting this blog so I can organize my thoughts better.  Judge away.

Since I'm feeling relatively safe today, I am willing to divulge some information:  for the past few months I have not been as charming and sweet and outgoing as I usually am.  I'm cracked.  I was kind of blindsided, I hit a wall, whatever.  At any rate I knew I was depressed and I knew it wasn't going to go away on its own.  Nevertheless, I kind of withdrew from people, and just wanted to stay at home.  I have neglected friendships and myself.  I just didn't know what to do until I decided to suck it up and see a therapist.

My first visit to the therapist was tearful, anxiety-filled, overwhelming, and relieving all at once.  The only problem was I didn't like my therapist.  She was fine enough for a first visit, but, the more I thought about it later, there were things I didn't like about her.  I felt that she was very judgmental and I hated her sympathetic noises during the session.  She didn't seem sincere in her desire to help me.  Luckily for me, she was booked a few months ahead so I got a new therapist.  She has an amazing sense of humor and she gives me lists of things to do that aren't overwhelming.  It's fantastic-o.  We're making some amazing progress, and I'm excited to see what happens over the next few months.

Another awesome thing:  I'm finally in school!  I've only had one class so far, but it's going to be awesome-o.  I haven't been back since I graduated high school and I'm excited to put my brain and hands to good use.  Oh, I'm going to a massage school for six months.  Cake.  It's something I am naturally great at, so I decided it's probably time to go make some money doing it.  I'm very optimistic about the whole experience.

Super fantastic news:  my little sister moved back home.  I've missed her, even though she can be a rotten brat sometimes.  I'm thrilled to be able to be a big sister to her now that I'm less annoyed with her.  Since she is a hormonal teenager it'll be interesting to try and reason with her.  :)

Despite all of this awesomeness going on in my life, I'm feeling quite depressed and anxious.  I'm worrying about money (alwaaaaays), I have to work on getting my license (finally), and I'm sure I've pissed off numerous people by my limited interactions with them.

I've dropped the ball, I'll admit it.  But honestly, I'm glad it happened when it did, instead of screwing things up later on.  I'm in the process of a fantastic change and (hopefully) my friends and family will support me these next few months.  Remember, I'm only a call/text/email/fb message away!

Love,

Ericka

P.S. Thank you to the people who have been listening to me whine about my life for the past few months.  I appreciate you immensely!